If you missed out on the maddeningly hard — but somehow addictive — Flappy Bird app (like I did, which may be a fortunate turn of events), the creator has delivered a new game, Swing Copters, that has rocketed up the App Store rankings to reach the #2 spot in free apps. It doesn’t hurt that Apple highlighted it, too.
I tried it.
Can’t say I enjoyed the experience.
The premise is simple: Tap your screen repeatedly to make a little helicopter’s blades spin and rise. As your copter rises vertically, you’re supposed to guide it through gates and avoid swinging hammers. Unfortunately, the damn little thing seems to spin out of control and veer left or right at random. Tilting your iPhone to activate the accelerometer seems to have no effect whatsoever. Tapping on one side of the iPhone or the other seems to cause your copter to veer off in the wrong direction. Or have no effect whatsoever.
Maybe there is some rhyme or reason to the controls — it almost seems as if it’s possible that minute changes in the position of your tap or length of touch may have an effect on the copter’s dynamics . . . but, frankly, I have used up 12 minutes of patience to figure this out, and if it is indeed possible to control the copter with minute, super-fast adjustments, it’s clear that I’ll get a lot more out of my life if I delete the app, step outside, and just look at the sky for a minute or two.
Of course, in the interest of not wasting your time, I searched for answers, and basically, there are none: Some guys say faster taps are better while others claim that faster isn’t better while some claim that tapping with both fingers or thumbs very quickly can yield some measure of control. Either way, a single long tap or a pause between taps can cause your copter to veer quickly to its death. It may be possible to train your brain to feel the rhythm of the game . . . if you have no physical control over your own mind and how you spend your time. If you’re this prone to addiction — and want to waste your life with Swing Copters — seek medical help immediately.